A Bit of Self-Compassion
Setting goals for ourselves and endeavoring to stay on track with those goals is a worthy pursuit for anyone trying to create lasting change in their life. With change often times comes growth and learning, so it's definitely worth setting goals.
In my own case, I've been working hard to look at the goals I set in my life, but to ensure that the goals that I do set have value and meaning. That they align with my core values and the things I'm trying to accomplish and achieve.
One of the goals I set for myself, a few weeks ago, was to take on a daily writing challenge. To write one blog post a day about the things I'm inquiring into and trying to learn more deeply about. Much of my work revolves around learning as much as I can about mental health and wellness, so the focus of my daily writing is aimed at these areas.
For the most part, I've stayed on track with my daily writing. It's certainly no easy task to try to produce one blog post a day, but I find the process worth my time. However, the last couple of days, I haven't posted. I was in the process of flying back to my home in Saudi Arabia from Scotland where my wife and I spent the last week and a half on vacation.
Bottom line is that I got a bit complacent the last couple of days. Even though I could have devoted enough time to get my daily writing done, I fell off track. Day one led into day two. I could've written at the airport. I had time, but I simply didn't get it done.
Enter the self-critiquing voice. That judgmental voice crept into my head while I was on the plane, "You didn't stick to your goal. You had the time but you didn't get it done! Do you actually have the self-discipline needed to stay on track?"
The truth is I could've gotten it done, but didn't. When I woke up this morning, I reflected on my goal. It is a worthy endeavor to try and produce a blog post a day, but there will be times when I might not get it done. Rather than beat myself up, I probably need to be more self-compassionate. Scanning for the evidence of past success is a good way to be more compassionate and supportive with myself. I have blogged a number of days and have evidence of this.
The point of today's blog post is to address self-compassion. How does self-compassion show up in your life? Are you self-compassionate enough with yourself when you fail to meet certain goals? Do you give yourself enough credit for showing up to do the work needed in the first place? My blogging example is just a greater metaphor for the need for more self-compassion in our lives.
So, the next time you find yourself being judgmental with yourself, beating yourself up a bit (or a lot), and generally being pretty shitty with yourself, how might you infuse a bit of self-compassion to counter-balance and tame the harsh inner critic? Thanks for reading.
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KAUST Faculty, Pedagogical Coach. Presenter & Workshop Leader.IB Educator. #RunYourLife podcast host.